Destination in sight but the journey continues

(Guest Blogger Astrid Van Holten, aka Pearla provides us with her perspective of our travels and how she managed to put up with me).

Day 1 in Berlin has been grey and a chilling 4 degrees. It is 4.30pm and utterly dark outside, but I am in a warm apartment with my son and daughter-in-law, nice music, slippers on and coffee on the stove. All three of us are at our computers, them doing real work while I half-heartedly read New Zealand job ads. Saying good-bye to Pearla yesterday in London was heart-wrenching so dealing with the anxieties of travel was a good distraction. And anxieties they really are when one chooses a cut-price, non-customer focussed airline.

Yesterday marked the end of the “Pearla and Pearla do the UK” journey. We have been in each other’s company pretty much 24/7 since the beginning of June, working and living together (sometimes with our own rooms, but many times sharing), travelling, driving, walking, cooking, crying, laughing, singing, inventing names for our own cafe (“Burnt out and Bitter” is the favourite so far, or in Germany, “Burnt out and Bitte”…lol, clever), discussing our futures, visiting historical sites, uphill walking in exceptionally beautiful places, imagining ourselves in our own reality show (if you want to know, The Truman Show crossed with Survivor), talking about relationships, trudging with luggage (often), eating, a little drinking and generally living a life neither of us would have considered a few years ago. Deciding where to have coffee has always taken an inordinate amount of time counter to the time spent drinking it (and with dubious criteria, like what does “nice” really mean?), itineraries have been planned around what picturesque spot we might stop for lunch. We’ve had muesli and yoghurt for breakfast almost every day, sampled scones all over Scotland, England and Wales and gazed out at many an entrancing view while eating home-made egg sandwiches. I won’t even mention some of our more interesting driving experiences. (Editor’s note – thanks Pearla).

But boy have we met some people! Everywhere in trains, boats, cafes, trails, hotels, villages, cities…..they have been customers, co-workers, strangers, house-sit owners, friends-of-friends, shop-keepers, even in places where we know you’re not supposed to engage (anywhere in London). We’ve had delightful conversations, helpful chats, friendly banter, invitations to visit all over the UK and Europe and other job offers. We’ve talked to strangers (in English) and not understood a word they said. Absolutely everyone knows someone who emigrated to New Zealand and everyone has either been or wants to visit. How many times have we noddod sagely and said, “Yes, it’s a beautiful country, you must visit”. But let’s have one story about Pearla….on a long traintrip from Bournemouth to London, Pearla went to check on our bags in the vestibule. She didn’t come back…and didn’t come back…We stopped at a station, people got on and I had to repel several who tried to take her seat. Then it got awkward, because the train was ridiculously over-booked and under-carriaged, it was a two-hour trip and people were standing, so in the end I gathered our things, offered the seats and went to see if all was OK. There she was, in the vestibule with about five people who didn’t know each other from a bar of soap, everyone clinging onto their luggage, conducting a conversation, about what I can’t remember. But none of them knew each other is the point and they were having a whale of a time. So this has been our experience. Being Kiwi might help, but Pearla’s ability to engage has been let loose on many unsuspecting souls and I think we’re all the richer for it.

So, a few lessons I have learned:

1. You really don’t need a lot of clothes when you travel. No one knows you. Who cares if you have worn that top three days? And yes, even if you go somewhere flash for a meal (like Ottolenghi) and you’ve just got off a train from Edinburgh and can’t change into tidy clothes, in the scheme of things, IT DOESN’T MATTER.

2. I can sleep anywhere (now). My ‘Princess and the Pea’ days with mattresses are officially over. In fact, keeping awake on a train, plane or bus is an effort. But this might not be about comfy mattresses.

3. I can climb on and off a narrow-boat. Even with a stinging nettle incident. I can climb fences without injury. I can walk a long way in the rain and be quite lost and very cold before I’ll agree we should call a taxi. I can master the vertigo of cliff-top walks.

4. Pearla can connect with anyone anywhere about anything. The girl’s got skills. She can also produce meals under pressure, stick up for herself and work bloody hard. Surprisingly, she’s not as tidy in the kitchen as I expected. (Editor’s note – lol).

5. In a life transition, there has to be an ending and then a time of nothing, before there can be a new beginning. “What do I need to let go of?” and “What is waiting in the wings?” Are two great questions. Thanks William Bridges (and Wendy).

6. Cafes lie about their scones. I think I said this last time but it has continued to be true. They have NEVER just come out of the oven.

7. Hospitality workers are under-appreciated for the amount of effort required to make things look effortless.

8. It is a privilege to be doing what we are doing, to step out of our lives and do something different. We have met many people on this journey for whom this would be impossible. We have counted our blessings every day.

Thoughts are focussed now on coming home. The late, great John O’Donohye said: “In a sense, the notion of home is a continuation of the human body that is after all our original and primary home on earth; it houses the mind, heart and spirit. To be, we need to be home. When a place to belong is assured, the adventure of growth can begin with great promise.”

So, speaking of home and journeys, that old saying, ‘it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey’, needs a special mention. I was sad leaving Pearla yesterday, we had reached our destination, of London and it truly felt like a journey had ended. But really, it was just another destination reached. Coming home is the next destination but scary and exciting as that may be, the journey is far from over.

Thank you Jules for inviting me along for the ride, it has been an absolute pearla and I wouldn’t have missed it for t’ world. (Editors note – thanks Astrid, I wouldn’t have made it thus far without you.)